Monday, March 2, 2015

Clean Eating (flippin'amazing) Shamrock Shaaaaaaake!!!!!!

Like......I can't.






LOOOK!!!! Look at it!!!

Smooth and creamy and minty and delicious!!!! The 16 year old me remembers slurping one of these down with a cheeseburger.

The 33 year old actual me looks at this and gains 5 pounds. Happily.

Look again...



Mmm.....I can even SEE the swirls of artificial mint flavor.

This.  Is the Shamrock Shake.

I love all things mint, and especially mint ice cream.  And this....well....it's the mythological, spine-tingling treat that comes out but once a year to shine its green, minty sun on the earth.

Okay...."once a year" is equal to roughly February 26th-March 20th......a.k.a. "St. Patrick's Lead Up Weeks."

So, back to the 33 year old me with the size 6 dress I need to fit in for two weddings in the next couple of months.  I also have not darkened "Mickey D's" doorstep in many years.

:::Homer Simpson voice:::: Stupid health and stupid aging with its stupid stipulations like not eating milkshakes.  

So.......early March had me craving Shamrock Shakes as usual, but caught in a Catch-22 of artificial flavors and green dye. And every "imitation" recipe you find on Pinterest calls for "A cup of whole milk! A huge scoop of vanilla ice cream! Your soul!" 

Okay, if I was going to make one with WHOLE MILK and ICE CREAM I might as well haul my Chevy Equinox (jealous?) down to the McDonald's drive-through!!!!

I needed an "imitation" that did not include 487.6 grams of fat. So.....

In a frenzy of creativity and sheer desperation.....I did it.  I freaking did it.

I made......a 99% natural (you'll see where I needed that 1%), protein-packed, satisfying, "could-fool-a-leprechaun"...... Shamrock Friggin' Shake.

And I've had one every single morning since I stirred up the magic recipe.  And I can't hold this secret in my heart.  I must share it with the world.  Or at least, with the portion of the world that cares about health AND has their heart aching for a Shamrock Shake (roughly 98% of the world....probably).

So here it is........whip one up....take a sip....and jig yourself over here for a hug.



Clean Eating Shamrock Shake

In a blender cup (or, I guess blender....but I broke mine a long time ago trying to blend frozen bananas) blend:

- 1.5 cup almond milk (unsweetened, vanilla or sweetened) 
- 1- 1.5 frozen bananas......pre cut and frozen
- handful of fresh or frozen kale or collard greens (just do it...you can't taste it.  Just put it in your freezer so you have it and DO IT.)
- 1/4 cup quick oats
- 1 scoop vanilla protein powder  (I use "Gold Standard"'s  Whey Vanilla Ice Cream flavor)
- 1teaspoon mint extract  (do NOT use more b/c you think it will be great....it won't be.)
- 3-4 drops of green food coloring (this is the 1% unnatural aspect.  and my mind needed to see it.)

Blend it up.....take a sip....and cry.  Cry minty, green tears.

(whispers)  I love you........

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